Thursday 22 June 2017

Unsent !



On a winter afternoon, Maya was standing in her Balcony with her favorite drink...a notification on her phone...a hangout message..one of her very close friends had sent her his location...he was in her city for a day ...they were not talking for almost 3 years...may be even more than that..and she had repented it more than ones...

She was elated but dint know how to respond...next day while thinking of replying to his text...by mistake Maya makes a hangout call..she disconnected immediately and wrote him back ..."sorry by mistake" ...

Silence again...for quite some time...few days and then few months again...

Until one night when Maya was breaking down to a crisis around her..it must have been 1 am or so and the only voice which she knew could gather her up and motivate her again at that moment was him... "can i speak to you for 5 mins" she texted with a lot of courage...Ever courteous as he was, he immediately called back...They spoke for more than 2 hours and saw the dawn together at 2 different parts of the world...she calmed down a bit by then... life felt in control once again...though as always she would hardly take his suggestions on anything...only to realize with time everytime that he was probably right...

In a few months he shifted to Mumbai...her city...but they avoided meeting each other...

On his birthday Maya wrote him a letter but somehow dint send it...couldn't send it...

"Yes a lot could have happened probably...i can feel that now...had i responded 3 years back...i still remember few words you had written and which had impacted me quite a lot...to leave the scar even today... "Taken" ...soon after my marriage was fixed...oh how could i even miss...its 4 years not 3...strange we are...i dint speak to u for more than 3 1/2 yrs and you dint bother to ask me even once...never ever...as if it was normal..as if nothing had changed...and then one day when i was too too upset with life..was feeling cheated...depressed...was getting choked...i just wanted to hear one voice...i knew you will be able to calm me down if not anything else and there you were with all the warmth...your warmth made me break down...my voice choked soon on the other side of the receiver...and we spoke as if we never stopped talking...

This is rare...precious i suppose..it happens only with best of friends i guess...

Incidentally now we stay in the same city...though i knew i never wanted it...even told you this but its me who selected the final house and somehow this arrangement felt perfect...i don know..which force is acting where...which is acting for us and which is against...i don know..i m totally and utterly confused about us...we are amazingly funny...we are trying our best to keep away and every force is putting us back together...atleast that's what it seems till now...

I remember we wished about sitting on your window pane and drinking till sunrise...but that i wanted to do in your city...which never happened and which i still want to do..yes in your city still now...you mentioned that i m looking for "companionship" in a friend...but we parted..willingly or unwillingly...

Yes i always wanted to stay away from u...you know why...its difficult...yes like lot of our contested discussions , you were right in this too...'either we should stay together or stay like strangers'..something u told almost 4 years bk..."

The letter still rested in peace in Maya's drafts...

Kolkata , 25 April 2016



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